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Holiday Antics

Needless to say, I didn’t venture to that toilet again...

Hi there,

Another week has flown by. I don’t know where the weeks go. They never seemed to go as quickly when I worked full-time.

My wife has been telling everybody about my problematic experiences on holiday, so I thought I would let you in on them.

The day we arrived at our hotel in sunny Madeira, we did the usual business of looking around the hotel, inside and outside, to see what facilities were available. Everything looked great. Internally, there were a few relaxing lounge areas, a big bar where they also served lunch, an entertainment area, a library, two large television areas, toilets, and a reception area. Right at the end was the indoor swimming pool and spa centre.

Upstairs was the main restaurant where breakfast and dinner were served.

Outside was a huge sitting area with tables and chairs and sun loungers next to the swimming pool.

We were pleased with our choice of hotel. It looked good when we saw the hotel photos online, and it lived up to expectations.

So far, so good.

We had lunch in the bar area and walked outside the hotel to get our bearings. The hotel was perfectly situated. If you went left, it took you to the pretty town centre of Funchal and to the port where large cruise ships docked. If you went to the right, it took you along the coastal road to the big hotels and shopping malls. Although the area is rather hilly, transport is easy and cheap.

We discovered Funchal to be a lovely, clean and friendly place, and I would recommend it to couples and families.

Nearly there!

Getting ready for our first evening meal, my wife took a shower, and I followed. When I had finished showering, I saw a cord and pulled it. Nothing happened, and I pulled harder. It came away in my hand. The next thing I heard was the phone ringing from our bedroom. I couldn’t hear the conversation, but my wife told me that reception had rung to ask if everything was ok because the emergency cord had been pulled and raised the alarm. I had mistakenly pulled what I thought was the shower cord and broken it. I didn’t think it was that funny, but my wife couldn’t stop laughing.

The second incident happened the following afternoon. We were relaxing outside in the sun when I went to the toilet. There was an ‘Out of Order’ sign on the two toilet doors. I found an accessible toilet nearby. I locked the door behin me, but when I tried to open the door to get out, it wouldn’t open. I spent ages trying to open it. I knocked on the door and shouted, to no avail. Learning from my previous experience, I saw a cord and softly pulled it. I didn’t want to break another emergency cord. Anyway, within minutes, a lady from reception arrived and tried opening the door. She couldn’t open it. She told me not to worry and said she was calling maintenance. After waiting five minutes, I was rescued. My wife hadn’t even noticed how long I had been.

Luckily, the accessible toilet was a large room, so I didn’t feel claustrophobic. However, matters may have been different if it had been an ordinary toilet cubicle.

The third incident occurred the next day. The same thing happened. The main toilets were still out of order. I told my wife I was going to the same accessible toilet and reminded her to come looking for me if I wasn’t back in five minutes. I didn’t panic, knowing my wife would be there any minute. I waited and waited and eventually had to pull the emergency cord. This time the receptionist was able to open the door. My wife had become engrossed in playing a word game on her tablet and forgotten all about me. It was only when she saw me walking back with the receptionist that she suddenly remembered.

Needless to say, I didn’t venture to that toilet again.

Until next time, happy reading.



I will let you into a secret about something that happened to my wife next time.

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